changing

Colours that only gradually revealed themselves.
I walked on the stony beach and imagined I was a part of the nature of the island, and that I would alway live here.
I tried to love the turbulent sea, the strange colors that released their beauty so frugally.
And the more I tried, the more frightened I became that I would not be living there much longer.
I wanted to open my arms and embrace it all, but became my fear that it would never be mine was so great, it never became mine.
I lived there for a brief period of my life, and what I brought away with me was not the stones and the trees and the beauty.
I left the island with loneliness in my baggage, and the feeling that something inside me had changed forever.
[liv. ullmann]